THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW: True Confessions of a Procrastinator
You know that feeling. You're bursting
with wonderful ideas when there's nothing you can do
about it. At work, in the car, at the grocery store, in the
shower. But when you do get in front of the desk/drawing
board, all you want to do is play a game of solitaire.
We've all been there, friend. Me, most of all.
What turns normal, law-abiding citizens to the dark side of procrastination? When the time to work comes, I'm a master at rationalizing why I can't/don't have to/don't want to work.
I really do have good intentions. I purchased a book on organization for creative people a few years ago. It's buried in one of these piles here somewhere… I take classes, hoping that will guilt me into getting work done on time (or at all). I just end up getting more stressed and more behind. I need help
I suppose if I only do something when I feel like it, it's a hobby, not a career. Is something trying to tell me that I'm on the wrong track? Maybe I should try to look at my work in a different light or go in a different direction. Ditch-digger? Ice sculptor? Cross-walk attendant? Maybe all I have to do is work harder and smarter.
Time and Place
Scatterbrained
and easily distracted, I'm the kind
of person who can't even carry on a coherent conversation
while the TV is on. I'm kidding myself if I think I
can “create” in a chaotic environment.
Maybe I could carve out a couple of hours a day of quiet time; after everyone has gone to bed or first thing in the morning. I've heard that success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. I do so hate to sweat, though.
E-Mail, Schme-Mail
Okay,
it's 10:00 pm. The family's in bed and
I'm sitting at my computer. I've got my inspirational
music and a 6-pack of Diet Coke. I'll just check my
e-mail, then get to work.
Two hours later, I'm still trying to wade through the hundreds of messages from the five children's book-related groups to which I belong.
I guess this information will still be out there when I'm ready.
One (or Two) at a Time
Fine, I'll concentrate on one main project and set realistic milestones. I'll still log stray ideas that pop up, but I'll do my best to return to the project at hand.
Fear Factor
Okay, I picked
one project to complete. It's been
sitting there for months; I've been avoiding it like
a poisonous creature with dripping fangs. I read through
it again and have a distinct urge to run off and join the
circus. I suppose it's mostly about fear. I don't
know about you, but I have a major fear of failure. I also
get discouraged easily; if something doesn't work right
away, I want to quit.
Crud Is My Friend
From
now on, the first draft of anything is strictly for my eyes
only. I won't even show it to my cat. I am
free to produce the worst writing/drawing known to humankind.
I am one with my cruddiness and I'll try not to get
discouraged or stressed. Buried in the dross are nuggets
of something shiny. Sure they need to be plucked out and
polished up, but I can't do that if I'm afraid
the make the crud in the first place.
Hey, what have I got to lose? A few hundred games of Solitaire? One more re-run of Law and Order? Better yet, think of all I have to gain: the warm fuzzies knowing that I worked hard and made something special, the confidence to hold my head up high and be an equal with my illustrious writer/artist friends, and just think of all the money I'll save not buying cases of antacids.
So now you know all my dirty little secrets in my battles with disorganization, apathy, lack of focus and fear. I suppose it's a good thing I have a conscience around to keep me on the straight and narrow.
Can I take her advice? Hey, I finally finished this article; that's a start…
-LF
“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment” – Robert Benchley